Queen of Awkward

today was beautiful.

dontlookatme:

So, against ALL orders, from every one of my friends, I am now dually enrolled in Macomb Community College AND Roseville High School.

I love myself.

I especially love my Psychology teacher….he is one FINE ASS MOFO. I swear, he is my eye candy and I won’t learn a thing….mmm mmm mm.

My birthday is coming up. You know what I’m getting? The textbook! I know, right? Awesome.

I have a comp paper to type up (10 pages, due tomorrow by the end of the period) and I was almost done with it.

I had just typed the last sentence on page 9, when Deborah’s kitten Milo decides I have paid enough attention to the damn computer already, and now it’s his turn to get some lovin’.

Milo jumped on the laptop, managed to press an exact sequence of buttons to make the word document close, and when the message which says “would you like to save your work?” came up, he clicked….no.

Goodbye, 9 pages of work which took me two hours to type and revise and type again.

I love this kitten.

He is now convinced that his tail is a foreign object on his body that he must rid himself of; oh, and that the water in the water dish by the computer desk in the kitchen is really an alien that is out to get him.

I have that huge-ass Anat packet due tomorrow, plus some random math assignment I’m going to finish three seconds before the late bell, and some DE forms that need to be signed.

I love Law & Order.

I also love food.

And, yes, I went to Sara’s today. And I saw what’s-his-face. And yes, I talked to him and yes, I even hugged him. And still, all was well. Me telling myself that I hated him worked to the point that I don’t even like him anymore.

I mean, yeah, if he wanted to like…..get together…..like a date or something….I’d be all for it.
But I’m done trying with him…I mean, there’s cuter guys out there.

So in schoo….it’s really hard. I feel so isolated. These girls are dressed the way they are, and all the guys talk to them and they’re all the popular girls…..and then there’s me.

I’m not that attractive, I’m not that cute, and I’m not that popular.
I’m trying to be less shy this year, to try to make more friends, but it doesn’t work, and I don’t understand why.

I feel so different from these kids. I feel like no matter how hard I try, there’s just a huge sign above me that says “I AM DIFFERENT FROM YOU” in really, really big bright letters.

Deborah, this is a question for my older sister.

Did you still have your old friends?
Or did everyone abandon you too?

I have honestly never felt so alone in my entire life.

Is anyone out there?

Helloooo…..

 1. I miss miss miss miss my baby kitty milo. Send me more pictures because I miss him so so sossssssoooooo much.

2. You are pretty, popular, and cute. I am very jealous of you and your popularity.

3. Haha…I do have my friends..but we are better friends now that I’m so far away…

4. for opening your throat pretend you are drinking water (when you feel a lift at the back of your throat…it is open) and to open your mouth you have to feel like it is ridiculously wide…

5. I want Sara’s so badly!!!!!!!!